Revenimus
REVENIMUS!
I probably didn’t realise before how much of one’s self-respect depends on having a job. Even if, as I did for many years, one carries the certainty that one is working well on some worthwhile project that will eventually win popularity and reward or at least some respect. It would be better to carry on under the delusion that one is producing good material than wake to the reality that one is completely unnecessary to commercial society.
I arise very late on a Spring Sunday. When I should be buzzing with cheerful and optimistic energy, I am exhausted and depressed. No way to deny it. No point in denying it. My life has failed. It seems the natural response is to remove oneself thoroughly from society, hide away and die silently in shame. (Maybe wasting a little more time watching pointless television).
Let me look at the facts. No point in keeping up any pretences. Life is more than a ‘competition’ with the neighbours to show who is doing best when measured against a weird and arbitrary set of standards.
I am incredibly isolated and lonely. My life has always seemed best to me where it involved lots of face to face verbal interaction. I am a social animal and I ‘need’ a social life. I like being among many people, even if I am a silent spectator to their noise and bustle.
One cannot have adequate social life without adequate money. Social Security benefits just do not provide enough for any consistent social life. Over recent years when I have made attempts to socialise after long isolation the sudden spurting outbursts in communication from myself have been seen as intolerable or weird, leading to some form of (at least perceived) rejection, which reduces the confidence that would lead to repeated efforts.
I loath myself when I look at my recent behaviour and realise that I have been avoiding the really important issues, allowing them to worsen, by digressing into unimportant amusements, like television or discovering some cute new aspect of internet computing.
The main area I have avoided confronting directly for most of the last few years is that of career. The career I had chosen for myself obviously and thoroughly failed. It seems unlikely I will become a notable public figure, being paid to voice educated opinions on cannabis to wide sectors of society. It seems unlikely that I will be paid for my efforts to amuse, entertain or otherwise uplift my fellow humanity….the results of which now lie almost inaccessible in a pile of unedited video films that, with each day, become more old-fashioned and sad-looking.
How true the old song “Nobody Wants To Know You When You’re Down and Out”. I can confirm that as a fact of life. It means that calling for help proves usually futile and more likely to confirm one in the position of victim.
It seems to me incredibly stupid, at my age of 52, to go into deep meditation and hope for inspiration that is going to reveal a new career into which I just march triumphantly. Fairer to say that my career was my career, while I was working on it. Simplistically, it would be easier to revive that earlier career (however unlikely it seemed) than to expect help into any new career direction. I am far from the only sad old sot in his 50s wrestling with society’s apparent rejection of oneself as unwanted. I can’t point to anyone my age who would be sorely missed, or anyone who would really miss me except as an occasional problem.
Oh Colin, you are so slow and foggy. Cut the literary crap - you ain’t gonna win no Bookers Prize. Get down to it.
The only career resources I have, indeed the only area in which I am more skilled and experienced than most, is in my accurate memory of my various experiences with cannabis and my sometimes hilarious but usually ingenious attempts to popularise it and …..one more chuckle….”legalise” it. That’s all my treasure. (Even if I have spent 2 years with it all packed up and devalued as trash…..if it was unpacked in the proper context it is indeed a huge treasure.) As long as I feel the slightest ‘embarrassment’ in using the word ‘cannabis’ I am not in the correct social context to recover my life and career. Get that straight, Colin!
A Professor is not one who sits and stares at a puzzle with a stupid ‘Duh?’ If you can’t find a good idea, go back to the last good idea and this time make it work! Simple. Like ZEN.
Gosh, I really should be getting smarter in my old age. Two mild spliffs and a more cheerful truth gradually dawns on me: what I was looking at on awakening was a hangover following a 2-day ganja-fuelled ghoster plus a bottle of whiskey…..and the dread that comes from seeing one’s current stash is nearly finished. That’s all. A hangover.
Following that truth comes another realisation. Whether I like it or not, even know it or not, I am still working on the same old career as always, revolving as it does around myself and my cannabis. I may have been a bit slow recently in accepting and dealing with clues, but I am still on the case. Till it’s finished.
Ill though I may feel I am not yet finished. (In fact, when I am finished, others will know that before I do!)
I really must get more of the relevant current facts on to my web-pages. These are not just for the enjoyment of a tiny unchallenged few wealthy web-surfers, but my only actual interface with society. So I want to see mentions on my web-pages for cannabis past and future, my ‘career’ whatever it is, my films and broken camera, my current singularity and lack of income….and some details of what I have to offer. Best not to do any of this writing and publication while drunk or feeling reckless, either.
Walk the Walk!
So we can talk the talk….always could. Now do it! I must remember the (good) advice not to publish anything while inebriated but I have again succumbed to the gentle warm voice of temptation and bought in a wee half-bottle of whisky, mostly to cushion the shock of watching my stash run out for a while but also, perhaps, to ensure that my worst ’symptoms’ are clearly on top when I go to visit my doctor tomorrow.
So, it occurs to me, I should create my web identity and image the same way we produced all that great advertising and promo of the 70s and 80s: Compose it off-line, polish and edit it, then upload through copy and paste.
So this is now my doodle and rough sketch pad:
I am 52, single and alone. I am currently in a poverty problem, but I have had a very good life that would be amusing for many to share. If I die before I wake, at least in heaven I can skate.
I have a lot of good comedy films, produced between 1984 and 2004, yet my camcorder is currently broken so I will need help from someone to bring this amusing material to any public.
I am making no particular stance in politics or religion, or even in the phoney ‘drugs war’. I just want to share my pleasure with others….though I will not hide the fact that I love and depend on cannabis, I will not push the idea that anyone else should use it. After all, they do not face the particular complex bag of hurdles and handicaps that faced me in my teens (and face me today!)
I have been accused of many things which are not true. Although I find this back-stabbing a cruel handicap to bear at this stage in my life, I must seek to avoid whingeing….though I obviously do need a helping hand from someone to rise above the effects of these slanders.
The common ground I share with most people (certainly with those I would like to have as friends) is a deep and abiding love of music. Music had been my one consistent love, that has always paid me back for my faith.
My current favourites are:
1. Power of Scotland
2. Heaven is a half pipe.
3. Because I got high.
4. There ain’t half been some clever bastards.
The music around me at present is so good that my favourites might change from day to day!
I am available for work….preferably interesting socially constructive work that involves co-operation and partnership with other interesting and honest people, who love life and music.
Apart from musical performance, video films work and editing, my greatest strengths may be my skills in cleaning and re-cycling (which are usually devalued by the very same people who can find nothing praiseworthy in any of my artistic or professional activities.)
100 Reasons to Love Me
1. I am still fully physically fit enough for all-night dancing. There may be a fear of collapse but it will be in the most artistic and viewer-friendly fashion possible.
2. I am a very good kisser. Not a lot of people know that…..which is one of the true signs of a good kisser.
3. I am quite literate. My grammar, punctuation, vocabulary and spelling are sufficient to keep my fan club well amused indefinitely….and I like to believe the way I write encourages other ‘similar’ people to open up and write too…..like “Catcher in the Rye” and “Huckleberry Finn” did for me!
4. If I get into a relationship (whatever that means) I/we are unlikely to be bothered by the re-appearance of any former partner! (But don’t worry, honey, they are still alive….just not likely to bother us.)
5. I can’t waste money. When I have cash at my disposal I use it to obtain assets and resources far greater than almost anyone else would be expected to produce with the same amount.
6. I am incredibly clean. Even when dog-tired I clean up as I go (as James Bond was always trained to do) so that I am rarely confronted with the same error twice, for example.
7. I can get my guitar into tune before I start playing it. That took me only 32 years to learn. It is a beautiful guitar and I don’t play anything on it I don’t personally find beautiful. Everyone else who has played on my guitar (an estimated 50 to 60) has had a pleasurable experience and played music that was amusing to all present.
8. Thanks to Paul Ewan’s modern dentistry I am still a rugged good-looking smile even when I am out of my face on booze or drugs! The smile is everything. Mine (apart from the teeth) is genuine….right to the heart of the eyes. I do have a range of cute dimples, too.
9. I have two very clever and friendly nephews, Sean and Kieran, who seem to genuinely like me based on direct experience. Considering that their mother has some old upset with a falsely-perceived earlier version of me, that bodes well for acceptance by the whole generation of current pre-pubescent youth. Their favourite music is the same as mine! (But their Dad is cute, too!)
10. I’m fairly nifty with a camera…both in the composition and taking of any picture and in the subsequent editing. Video or stills.
11. It’s very very rarely these days I meet anyone who actually scares me. Although I may have become quite used to this state of affairs I realise that there are few people in any age-group or walk of life who could honestly say the same. My secret is that I love ‘people’ and know how to relate to any one of them!
12. Dogs and cats love me. By that I mean they have an unreserved desire to share my company and services, regardless of what else has been taught to them by whoever else. They love me because I instantly accept and love them on sight, recognising that they have taught me much about human beings and love itself.
13. None of my work has been published. That means I am completely uncontrolled in what I can say, do or publish by any agent, manager, sponsor or other ‘boss’!
14. Having no commitments, I am free to move into any new location or relationship, to work on whatever I choose with whomever I choose.
15. I have never used hard drugs….coke, smack or crack. I have no inclination towards doing so and no fear that I will succumb to any temptation whenever these are offered.
16. The evidence of 52 years proves that, even after all my experiences, I still know how to find myself a safe, warm, dry, clean place to sleep overnight. (If the place is not actually clean before I go to sleep, both it and myself are clean before I move on!)
17. Even after two months with full Broadband access to the Internet, I have completely avoided the fearful traps my Mother thought I would surely be caught by (which justified her handicapping my net-debut for so many years.)
18. I can skate. In fact I was one of the first skateboarders in Glasgow, with my skull and crossbones blue board in 1991, as witnessed by many Glasgow University students and all the girls at the posh school up off Byres Road. Like my inspiration (Splinter, the Zen Professor who tutored the LSD Ninja Mutant Heroes) I was smart enough to get off the board after excitingly inspiring the youth, realising how much more fragile are 40 year old bones than greenstick under-17’s.
19. I do have Jesus packing my bong. We must expect this to be a more rare occasion than in one’s youth, since Jesus himself only got to 32, similar to Bob Marley(36)…so neither these avatars have any real experience how to survive as a super-hero beyond the age of 40, far less 50! No instruction manuals, no experience-based advisors, in fact unmarked territory down to the user alone to define!
20. I don’t actually give a flying fart what anyone says….there is not a living soul who could make me feel guilty of anything. My mother was the last one….till I found out she had been doing it for over 40 years….making me feel guilty when I ain’t done nothing. So, lay off, mugs. OK, ya bass! I am not guilty : ). Always was, actually.
21. If I die before I wake, at least in Heaven I can skate…..rather well!
22. I am so kind and compassionate that….until recently….I would rather die than believe I was causing pain or distress to someone else. You may call it soft, you may call it stupid, but that’s just how nice I am.
23. Example: In 1986 0r 1987, while I was doing my ‘round-the-world’ tripping, I saved a girl from rape. In the streets of Nice or Cannes….South of France somewhere….I heard screaming in the street and saw two men causing distress for a woman on her own. I steamed in without regard to personal safety. I sorted that matter. The men departed and as soon as I assured myself the lady was safe I too vanished….before she could tempt me to exploit her vulnerability in any way! I blame the dope….it made me selfless….willing to help another without seeing any reward other than self-respect. So call me a ‘pervert’ at your peril….I could sort you even easier! Believe me (or try it!)
24. I have been to the Potala. I personally visited the huge monastery perched on a bumpy hill in the middle of the plain at Lhasa, Tibet, where the Dalai Lama comes from. I don’t need anyone else’s advice on this or that religion, past or present. Thanks, but no thanks. I investigated it myself.
25. Use genuine evidence and witnesses whenever you hear me accused of this or that and you will not, in a million years, prove me guilty of any anti-social crime. Rush the job and I swear you will be entitled to the same fair treatment when I finally catch up with you. I’m fucking sick of being stabbed in the back. The dirtiest move was in setting my own Mother against me and my brother Alistair (who died during the subsequent injustices). You fuck with my life this way and I will take pleasure in peeling your testicles, publicly. I swear by Almighty God.
(Short break of 3 months while I am moved from Mum’s place to Queens Park ‘Hotel’ (homeless hostel), then to Fitzalan Court (similar), then to this temporary flat in Crags Avenue, Lochfield, Paisley. Although I have ‘always’ said I don’t like Paisley, I may have to change my mind on this, if it proves I have no choice and have to live here.)
Now I shall continue this exercise since it seems even more vital. But it’s not so much “100 reasons to love me” as “100 reasons to love myself”!
26. My video-films are very funny. And, considering how shy I started, it is amazing how well I have learned to perform.
27. My personal environment always looks clean, comfortable and cheerful - which is quite a reflection on my abilities considering that I have been in poverty for years.
28. On my travels I have met thousands of interesting, lovable people. By far the majority of my social interactions have been friendly.
I probably didn’t realise before how much of one’s self-respect depends on having a job. Even if, as I did for many years, one carries the certainty that one is working well on some worthwhile project that will eventually win popularity and reward or at least some respect. It would be better to carry on under the delusion that one is producing good material than wake to the reality that one is completely unnecessary to commercial society.
I arise very late on a Spring Sunday. When I should be buzzing with cheerful and optimistic energy, I am exhausted and depressed. No way to deny it. No point in denying it. My life has failed. It seems the natural response is to remove oneself thoroughly from society, hide away and die silently in shame. (Maybe wasting a little more time watching pointless television).
Let me look at the facts. No point in keeping up any pretences. Life is more than a ‘competition’ with the neighbours to show who is doing best when measured against a weird and arbitrary set of standards.
I am incredibly isolated and lonely. My life has always seemed best to me where it involved lots of face to face verbal interaction. I am a social animal and I ‘need’ a social life. I like being among many people, even if I am a silent spectator to their noise and bustle.
One cannot have adequate social life without adequate money. Social Security benefits just do not provide enough for any consistent social life. Over recent years when I have made attempts to socialise after long isolation the sudden spurting outbursts in communication from myself have been seen as intolerable or weird, leading to some form of (at least perceived) rejection, which reduces the confidence that would lead to repeated efforts.
I loath myself when I look at my recent behaviour and realise that I have been avoiding the really important issues, allowing them to worsen, by digressing into unimportant amusements, like television or discovering some cute new aspect of internet computing.
The main area I have avoided confronting directly for most of the last few years is that of career. The career I had chosen for myself obviously and thoroughly failed. It seems unlikely I will become a notable public figure, being paid to voice educated opinions on cannabis to wide sectors of society. It seems unlikely that I will be paid for my efforts to amuse, entertain or otherwise uplift my fellow humanity….the results of which now lie almost inaccessible in a pile of unedited video films that, with each day, become more old-fashioned and sad-looking.
How true the old song “Nobody Wants To Know You When You’re Down and Out”. I can confirm that as a fact of life. It means that calling for help proves usually futile and more likely to confirm one in the position of victim.
It seems to me incredibly stupid, at my age of 52, to go into deep meditation and hope for inspiration that is going to reveal a new career into which I just march triumphantly. Fairer to say that my career was my career, while I was working on it. Simplistically, it would be easier to revive that earlier career (however unlikely it seemed) than to expect help into any new career direction. I am far from the only sad old sot in his 50s wrestling with society’s apparent rejection of oneself as unwanted. I can’t point to anyone my age who would be sorely missed, or anyone who would really miss me except as an occasional problem.
Oh Colin, you are so slow and foggy. Cut the literary crap - you ain’t gonna win no Bookers Prize. Get down to it.
The only career resources I have, indeed the only area in which I am more skilled and experienced than most, is in my accurate memory of my various experiences with cannabis and my sometimes hilarious but usually ingenious attempts to popularise it and …..one more chuckle….”legalise” it. That’s all my treasure. (Even if I have spent 2 years with it all packed up and devalued as trash…..if it was unpacked in the proper context it is indeed a huge treasure.) As long as I feel the slightest ‘embarrassment’ in using the word ‘cannabis’ I am not in the correct social context to recover my life and career. Get that straight, Colin!
A Professor is not one who sits and stares at a puzzle with a stupid ‘Duh?’ If you can’t find a good idea, go back to the last good idea and this time make it work! Simple. Like ZEN.
Gosh, I really should be getting smarter in my old age. Two mild spliffs and a more cheerful truth gradually dawns on me: what I was looking at on awakening was a hangover following a 2-day ganja-fuelled ghoster plus a bottle of whiskey…..and the dread that comes from seeing one’s current stash is nearly finished. That’s all. A hangover.
Following that truth comes another realisation. Whether I like it or not, even know it or not, I am still working on the same old career as always, revolving as it does around myself and my cannabis. I may have been a bit slow recently in accepting and dealing with clues, but I am still on the case. Till it’s finished.
Ill though I may feel I am not yet finished. (In fact, when I am finished, others will know that before I do!)
I really must get more of the relevant current facts on to my web-pages. These are not just for the enjoyment of a tiny unchallenged few wealthy web-surfers, but my only actual interface with society. So I want to see mentions on my web-pages for cannabis past and future, my ‘career’ whatever it is, my films and broken camera, my current singularity and lack of income….and some details of what I have to offer. Best not to do any of this writing and publication while drunk or feeling reckless, either.
Walk the Walk!
So we can talk the talk….always could. Now do it! I must remember the (good) advice not to publish anything while inebriated but I have again succumbed to the gentle warm voice of temptation and bought in a wee half-bottle of whisky, mostly to cushion the shock of watching my stash run out for a while but also, perhaps, to ensure that my worst ’symptoms’ are clearly on top when I go to visit my doctor tomorrow.
So, it occurs to me, I should create my web identity and image the same way we produced all that great advertising and promo of the 70s and 80s: Compose it off-line, polish and edit it, then upload through copy and paste.
So this is now my doodle and rough sketch pad:
I am 52, single and alone. I am currently in a poverty problem, but I have had a very good life that would be amusing for many to share. If I die before I wake, at least in heaven I can skate.
I have a lot of good comedy films, produced between 1984 and 2004, yet my camcorder is currently broken so I will need help from someone to bring this amusing material to any public.
I am making no particular stance in politics or religion, or even in the phoney ‘drugs war’. I just want to share my pleasure with others….though I will not hide the fact that I love and depend on cannabis, I will not push the idea that anyone else should use it. After all, they do not face the particular complex bag of hurdles and handicaps that faced me in my teens (and face me today!)
I have been accused of many things which are not true. Although I find this back-stabbing a cruel handicap to bear at this stage in my life, I must seek to avoid whingeing….though I obviously do need a helping hand from someone to rise above the effects of these slanders.
The common ground I share with most people (certainly with those I would like to have as friends) is a deep and abiding love of music. Music had been my one consistent love, that has always paid me back for my faith.
My current favourites are:
1. Power of Scotland
2. Heaven is a half pipe.
3. Because I got high.
4. There ain’t half been some clever bastards.
The music around me at present is so good that my favourites might change from day to day!
I am available for work….preferably interesting socially constructive work that involves co-operation and partnership with other interesting and honest people, who love life and music.
Apart from musical performance, video films work and editing, my greatest strengths may be my skills in cleaning and re-cycling (which are usually devalued by the very same people who can find nothing praiseworthy in any of my artistic or professional activities.)
100 Reasons to Love Me
1. I am still fully physically fit enough for all-night dancing. There may be a fear of collapse but it will be in the most artistic and viewer-friendly fashion possible.
2. I am a very good kisser. Not a lot of people know that…..which is one of the true signs of a good kisser.
3. I am quite literate. My grammar, punctuation, vocabulary and spelling are sufficient to keep my fan club well amused indefinitely….and I like to believe the way I write encourages other ‘similar’ people to open up and write too…..like “Catcher in the Rye” and “Huckleberry Finn” did for me!
4. If I get into a relationship (whatever that means) I/we are unlikely to be bothered by the re-appearance of any former partner! (But don’t worry, honey, they are still alive….just not likely to bother us.)
5. I can’t waste money. When I have cash at my disposal I use it to obtain assets and resources far greater than almost anyone else would be expected to produce with the same amount.
6. I am incredibly clean. Even when dog-tired I clean up as I go (as James Bond was always trained to do) so that I am rarely confronted with the same error twice, for example.
7. I can get my guitar into tune before I start playing it. That took me only 32 years to learn. It is a beautiful guitar and I don’t play anything on it I don’t personally find beautiful. Everyone else who has played on my guitar (an estimated 50 to 60) has had a pleasurable experience and played music that was amusing to all present.
8. Thanks to Paul Ewan’s modern dentistry I am still a rugged good-looking smile even when I am out of my face on booze or drugs! The smile is everything. Mine (apart from the teeth) is genuine….right to the heart of the eyes. I do have a range of cute dimples, too.
9. I have two very clever and friendly nephews, Sean and Kieran, who seem to genuinely like me based on direct experience. Considering that their mother has some old upset with a falsely-perceived earlier version of me, that bodes well for acceptance by the whole generation of current pre-pubescent youth. Their favourite music is the same as mine! (But their Dad is cute, too!)
10. I’m fairly nifty with a camera…both in the composition and taking of any picture and in the subsequent editing. Video or stills.
11. It’s very very rarely these days I meet anyone who actually scares me. Although I may have become quite used to this state of affairs I realise that there are few people in any age-group or walk of life who could honestly say the same. My secret is that I love ‘people’ and know how to relate to any one of them!
12. Dogs and cats love me. By that I mean they have an unreserved desire to share my company and services, regardless of what else has been taught to them by whoever else. They love me because I instantly accept and love them on sight, recognising that they have taught me much about human beings and love itself.
13. None of my work has been published. That means I am completely uncontrolled in what I can say, do or publish by any agent, manager, sponsor or other ‘boss’!
14. Having no commitments, I am free to move into any new location or relationship, to work on whatever I choose with whomever I choose.
15. I have never used hard drugs….coke, smack or crack. I have no inclination towards doing so and no fear that I will succumb to any temptation whenever these are offered.
16. The evidence of 52 years proves that, even after all my experiences, I still know how to find myself a safe, warm, dry, clean place to sleep overnight. (If the place is not actually clean before I go to sleep, both it and myself are clean before I move on!)
17. Even after two months with full Broadband access to the Internet, I have completely avoided the fearful traps my Mother thought I would surely be caught by (which justified her handicapping my net-debut for so many years.)
18. I can skate. In fact I was one of the first skateboarders in Glasgow, with my skull and crossbones blue board in 1991, as witnessed by many Glasgow University students and all the girls at the posh school up off Byres Road. Like my inspiration (Splinter, the Zen Professor who tutored the LSD Ninja Mutant Heroes) I was smart enough to get off the board after excitingly inspiring the youth, realising how much more fragile are 40 year old bones than greenstick under-17’s.
19. I do have Jesus packing my bong. We must expect this to be a more rare occasion than in one’s youth, since Jesus himself only got to 32, similar to Bob Marley(36)…so neither these avatars have any real experience how to survive as a super-hero beyond the age of 40, far less 50! No instruction manuals, no experience-based advisors, in fact unmarked territory down to the user alone to define!
20. I don’t actually give a flying fart what anyone says….there is not a living soul who could make me feel guilty of anything. My mother was the last one….till I found out she had been doing it for over 40 years….making me feel guilty when I ain’t done nothing. So, lay off, mugs. OK, ya bass! I am not guilty : ). Always was, actually.
21. If I die before I wake, at least in Heaven I can skate…..rather well!
22. I am so kind and compassionate that….until recently….I would rather die than believe I was causing pain or distress to someone else. You may call it soft, you may call it stupid, but that’s just how nice I am.
23. Example: In 1986 0r 1987, while I was doing my ‘round-the-world’ tripping, I saved a girl from rape. In the streets of Nice or Cannes….South of France somewhere….I heard screaming in the street and saw two men causing distress for a woman on her own. I steamed in without regard to personal safety. I sorted that matter. The men departed and as soon as I assured myself the lady was safe I too vanished….before she could tempt me to exploit her vulnerability in any way! I blame the dope….it made me selfless….willing to help another without seeing any reward other than self-respect. So call me a ‘pervert’ at your peril….I could sort you even easier! Believe me (or try it!)
24. I have been to the Potala. I personally visited the huge monastery perched on a bumpy hill in the middle of the plain at Lhasa, Tibet, where the Dalai Lama comes from. I don’t need anyone else’s advice on this or that religion, past or present. Thanks, but no thanks. I investigated it myself.
25. Use genuine evidence and witnesses whenever you hear me accused of this or that and you will not, in a million years, prove me guilty of any anti-social crime. Rush the job and I swear you will be entitled to the same fair treatment when I finally catch up with you. I’m fucking sick of being stabbed in the back. The dirtiest move was in setting my own Mother against me and my brother Alistair (who died during the subsequent injustices). You fuck with my life this way and I will take pleasure in peeling your testicles, publicly. I swear by Almighty God.
(Short break of 3 months while I am moved from Mum’s place to Queens Park ‘Hotel’ (homeless hostel), then to Fitzalan Court (similar), then to this temporary flat in Crags Avenue, Lochfield, Paisley. Although I have ‘always’ said I don’t like Paisley, I may have to change my mind on this, if it proves I have no choice and have to live here.)
Now I shall continue this exercise since it seems even more vital. But it’s not so much “100 reasons to love me” as “100 reasons to love myself”!
26. My video-films are very funny. And, considering how shy I started, it is amazing how well I have learned to perform.
27. My personal environment always looks clean, comfortable and cheerful - which is quite a reflection on my abilities considering that I have been in poverty for years.
28. On my travels I have met thousands of interesting, lovable people. By far the majority of my social interactions have been friendly.
posted by Professor Smile at 4:53 AM
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